I am not mom of the year.

I left Riley on the bed to take her nap. She's become very mobile so this was not a good idea. I left the room to start dinner and such. I hear her babbling and fussing a bit but this is normal behavior during her afternoon nap. Leif had told me he didn't want me leaving her on the bed because she could fall off since she's been scooting around so much but I laughed and said "That won't happen". Well I go in to check on her and she's still on her back, but half of her body is hanging over the side of the bed, with a blanket covering her head. She's laughing, and I grab her right away and freak out. Then she starts crying because I'm upset.

I called Leif and at first I kind of laughed about it, but then I realized she could have fallen and broken her neck and started crying. Then he tells me: "I told you so". Thank you Leif. :) From now on Riley will take naps in her crib, unless I'm sleeping on the bed with her.

FAIL. And Riley had already fallen sideways and hit her head today while sitting and playing at Mommy & Me. Really now?

Limiting God.

I'm learning that I tend to limit God often. I limit His goodness, His power, His greatness. If I can't fix something then God can't either. Why do I have this mentality? I said something to someone a few weeks ago that basically translated: "Its impossible". And she looked at me and was like "No, don't limit God. Nothing is impossible with Him". And I was just like "THANK YOU!" I needed to hear that. I needed to be reminded of that. I still do constantly. I refuse to limit my Lord.

This week I've been reciting Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". I like to look up all the different versions for verses and another favorite way of saying this verse: "I have strength for anything through Him who gives me power." Amen!

The past few days have been so unexpected and Leif and I are both at a point where the only strength we have is God. Its interesting how it takes a lot of bad sometimes, to make you fully rely on the Lord. To truly cling to Him and trust Him. Only in a time of despair is it easy to do that, because you're left with no other options. Shouldn't God always be our first option? Oh, I have so much to learn:) God is so patient with me, and so faithful! While things are so unsure and up in the air at the moment, God has given me peace. He is reminding me that He has given us the spirit of peace and a sound mind, not of fear.

He is not a God of fear. Nor is He a God who can't handle anything. He is God. He is all knowing and powerful. I should be more than happy to give my problems and complaints to Him. If anyone can handle them, God can:)! Hallelujah!

I still wake up next to Leif and am amazed that I get to spend my whole life with him. I am so blessed to have a husband who has amazing faith and never forgets brings me sunflowers every 15th of every month.

How blessed am I? I get to be mommy to this beautiful baby girl, who makes everything so much more wonderful than it was before. Thank you Jesus for your goodness.

Baby #2.

Leif and I are expecting another Jacobsen. January 6, 2010 to be exact. Since the birth will be by c-section then probably more like December. And Riley will have just turned one in November. Really? Two under two? God help me! We found out Saturday night, which was April 25th, the day Riley turned 5 months old. I cried because we weren't trying and we had a plan. Leif was excited and still is. God has His own plan though, right? Always :) The night we found out we were surrounded by the same friends who were there the first time we found out. I was so grateful for that!

I'm still really unsure about how I feel. I'm starting to get excited because I miss being pregnant and it was like yesterday, that we had a newborn. I'm excited to do that again... If everything goes well. After this I will actually take my birth control and we'll wait a few years before the next one. I hope! At church yesterday the second song we sang was "It is Well with my Soul" and I needed to hear that. It blessed me and gave me a peace I wasn't feeling at all. God is good. And now Riley will have a playmate and experience having a best friend that's also a sibling. Something I did and still get to experience. Riley was excited when we told her she was going to have a little brother or sister, as you can tell from the picture. :)

Please pray that I stay healthy and encounter no morning sickness! I had a perfect pregnancy with Riley and I would like to have another, especially since Riley is becoming more mobile. And if I do happen to get morning sickness that it won't be too bad and I'll have strength to play and keep up with Riley. Oh and Leif ;) It looks like Oregon is more than a sure thing now, so pray for that as well.

Although this is the second unplanned pregnancy for us, God has great plans and knows what He's doing. Hallelujah! Now off to take prenatal vitamins, do some prenatal yoga, search for a jogging stroller and start eating healthy again.

The Changes

Things have changed once again around here. I love it. I will never get tired of it. Leif and I are welcoming the 5th month of Riley's life and are still shocked that it's gone by so fast. I know I say it all the time, but seriously, it's flying by! God has been so good and continues to be good. We found out recently that Leif got his raise. We weren't sure about it because of the economy and funding at his job, but like I said before: God is good. At times like these I'm so grateful for the job Leif has and that it's a good job that makes it possible for bills to be paid, and for needs to be met. Its also nice to have extra money to put away or to spend. We're still using one car, but its nice to be able to use the money we would have used on another car, towards debt or bills. So far it hasn't been a problem, and when I think about where we'll be in 5 years, it's worth it:) Although its not really needed, I'm learning how to cut back in certain areas and just live without certain things. Just in case it gets to that point; plus life is so much better without having a lot of things and possessions.

I've started going to Mommy & Me at church and also joined another mommy's group that does different events weekly. The mommy's group is actually for women who have biracial or multi ethnic children. I'm loving it. I'm not the type to sit around at home and I don't think Riley is either... I love being out and about! So grateful that God has provided these things for me and Riley to be part of. I need to be surrounded by other mothers, especially mothers who serve Jesus:) On that note, we have been loving church. Its such a wonderful family of believers. And when I say family, it literally feels like family. And I love it. I am so happy we found a church home like this. I knew that when I had children I wanted to be part of a church that operated like a family, and here we are! Being part of a church has been wonderful. I'm constantly being reminded to pursue God and love Him in ways I never have. I'm also learning how to apply God's word to my marriage and to parenting. So important!

While I sit here and write this my daugther is slowly making her way across the room. She isn't crawling...she's scooting. I'm learning that I can't turn my head for a minute, whether she's in her walker or on her belly, she'll get to whatever it is she wants to get to. Although she's thrilled about, it I'm not... Riley also cut her first tooth yesterday. Monday she started teething really bad for about two hours, then yesterday the tooth broke through. I wasn't expecting any of this for awhile. I was hoping Riley would be slow about everything. I wanted her to stay little and need me forever! I guess she has a plan of her own:)

Oregon is still the plan and I'm pretty sure God is preparing us for it. Especially me. Everyday I become more at peace about it and excited. We've also been having friends and family over constantly, which I'm thankful about since we'll be moving soon. I'm trying to enjoy every moment here in California, and I'm seeing it through new eyes with a new love and appreciation. The people I know here cannot and will not ever be replaced, so I'm making sure I get to spend as much time with them as I can.

Say a prayer for us today/tonight. I'll do the same for you:)!