I am not mom of the year.

I left Riley on the bed to take her nap. She's become very mobile so this was not a good idea. I left the room to start dinner and such. I hear her babbling and fussing a bit but this is normal behavior during her afternoon nap. Leif had told me he didn't want me leaving her on the bed because she could fall off since she's been scooting around so much but I laughed and said "That won't happen". Well I go in to check on her and she's still on her back, but half of her body is hanging over the side of the bed, with a blanket covering her head. She's laughing, and I grab her right away and freak out. Then she starts crying because I'm upset.

I called Leif and at first I kind of laughed about it, but then I realized she could have fallen and broken her neck and started crying. Then he tells me: "I told you so". Thank you Leif. :) From now on Riley will take naps in her crib, unless I'm sleeping on the bed with her.

FAIL. And Riley had already fallen sideways and hit her head today while sitting and playing at Mommy & Me. Really now?

Limiting God.

I'm learning that I tend to limit God often. I limit His goodness, His power, His greatness. If I can't fix something then God can't either. Why do I have this mentality? I said something to someone a few weeks ago that basically translated: "Its impossible". And she looked at me and was like "No, don't limit God. Nothing is impossible with Him". And I was just like "THANK YOU!" I needed to hear that. I needed to be reminded of that. I still do constantly. I refuse to limit my Lord.

This week I've been reciting Philippians 4:13, "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me". I like to look up all the different versions for verses and another favorite way of saying this verse: "I have strength for anything through Him who gives me power." Amen!

The past few days have been so unexpected and Leif and I are both at a point where the only strength we have is God. Its interesting how it takes a lot of bad sometimes, to make you fully rely on the Lord. To truly cling to Him and trust Him. Only in a time of despair is it easy to do that, because you're left with no other options. Shouldn't God always be our first option? Oh, I have so much to learn:) God is so patient with me, and so faithful! While things are so unsure and up in the air at the moment, God has given me peace. He is reminding me that He has given us the spirit of peace and a sound mind, not of fear.

He is not a God of fear. Nor is He a God who can't handle anything. He is God. He is all knowing and powerful. I should be more than happy to give my problems and complaints to Him. If anyone can handle them, God can:)! Hallelujah!

I still wake up next to Leif and am amazed that I get to spend my whole life with him. I am so blessed to have a husband who has amazing faith and never forgets brings me sunflowers every 15th of every month.

How blessed am I? I get to be mommy to this beautiful baby girl, who makes everything so much more wonderful than it was before. Thank you Jesus for your goodness.

Baby #2.

Leif and I are expecting another Jacobsen. January 6, 2010 to be exact. Since the birth will be by c-section then probably more like December. And Riley will have just turned one in November. Really? Two under two? God help me! We found out Saturday night, which was April 25th, the day Riley turned 5 months old. I cried because we weren't trying and we had a plan. Leif was excited and still is. God has His own plan though, right? Always :) The night we found out we were surrounded by the same friends who were there the first time we found out. I was so grateful for that!

I'm still really unsure about how I feel. I'm starting to get excited because I miss being pregnant and it was like yesterday, that we had a newborn. I'm excited to do that again... If everything goes well. After this I will actually take my birth control and we'll wait a few years before the next one. I hope! At church yesterday the second song we sang was "It is Well with my Soul" and I needed to hear that. It blessed me and gave me a peace I wasn't feeling at all. God is good. And now Riley will have a playmate and experience having a best friend that's also a sibling. Something I did and still get to experience. Riley was excited when we told her she was going to have a little brother or sister, as you can tell from the picture. :)

Please pray that I stay healthy and encounter no morning sickness! I had a perfect pregnancy with Riley and I would like to have another, especially since Riley is becoming more mobile. And if I do happen to get morning sickness that it won't be too bad and I'll have strength to play and keep up with Riley. Oh and Leif ;) It looks like Oregon is more than a sure thing now, so pray for that as well.

Although this is the second unplanned pregnancy for us, God has great plans and knows what He's doing. Hallelujah! Now off to take prenatal vitamins, do some prenatal yoga, search for a jogging stroller and start eating healthy again.

The Changes

Things have changed once again around here. I love it. I will never get tired of it. Leif and I are welcoming the 5th month of Riley's life and are still shocked that it's gone by so fast. I know I say it all the time, but seriously, it's flying by! God has been so good and continues to be good. We found out recently that Leif got his raise. We weren't sure about it because of the economy and funding at his job, but like I said before: God is good. At times like these I'm so grateful for the job Leif has and that it's a good job that makes it possible for bills to be paid, and for needs to be met. Its also nice to have extra money to put away or to spend. We're still using one car, but its nice to be able to use the money we would have used on another car, towards debt or bills. So far it hasn't been a problem, and when I think about where we'll be in 5 years, it's worth it:) Although its not really needed, I'm learning how to cut back in certain areas and just live without certain things. Just in case it gets to that point; plus life is so much better without having a lot of things and possessions.

I've started going to Mommy & Me at church and also joined another mommy's group that does different events weekly. The mommy's group is actually for women who have biracial or multi ethnic children. I'm loving it. I'm not the type to sit around at home and I don't think Riley is either... I love being out and about! So grateful that God has provided these things for me and Riley to be part of. I need to be surrounded by other mothers, especially mothers who serve Jesus:) On that note, we have been loving church. Its such a wonderful family of believers. And when I say family, it literally feels like family. And I love it. I am so happy we found a church home like this. I knew that when I had children I wanted to be part of a church that operated like a family, and here we are! Being part of a church has been wonderful. I'm constantly being reminded to pursue God and love Him in ways I never have. I'm also learning how to apply God's word to my marriage and to parenting. So important!

While I sit here and write this my daugther is slowly making her way across the room. She isn't crawling...she's scooting. I'm learning that I can't turn my head for a minute, whether she's in her walker or on her belly, she'll get to whatever it is she wants to get to. Although she's thrilled about, it I'm not... Riley also cut her first tooth yesterday. Monday she started teething really bad for about two hours, then yesterday the tooth broke through. I wasn't expecting any of this for awhile. I was hoping Riley would be slow about everything. I wanted her to stay little and need me forever! I guess she has a plan of her own:)

Oregon is still the plan and I'm pretty sure God is preparing us for it. Especially me. Everyday I become more at peace about it and excited. We've also been having friends and family over constantly, which I'm thankful about since we'll be moving soon. I'm trying to enjoy every moment here in California, and I'm seeing it through new eyes with a new love and appreciation. The people I know here cannot and will not ever be replaced, so I'm making sure I get to spend as much time with them as I can.

Say a prayer for us today/tonight. I'll do the same for you:)!

Love.

This is one of my favorite types of love... Between a father and daugther. I'm so grateful for the father I had, so loving and encouraging all the time. I'm happy that Riley is going to be able to experience that. I love sitting and watching Riley's face light up when Leif simply looks at her. She always has the biggest smiles and squeals for Leif. And watching Leif interact with her seriously is amazing. Its hard for me to sit there and not fall deeper in love with him. I also can't help but thank God for His goodness and grace to us.

Its times like these that I'm overwhelemed by His love and compassion. I hope that I can get to a point where I'm constantly overwhelemed!

A few photos to make up for the lack of posts...

Sorry we haven't posted in a while. Margaret has been trying to fast from the internet, and it feels as though we've had plans every evening for the last two weeks. Easter was great, and we got to spend some time with Margaret's parents. Most of the pictures below are from the last couple of weeks. Riley's coming up on 5 months (on the 25th). It's amazing to see how much she picks up each and every day. She's starting to sit, and she just started rolling over from her back to her stomach. Now we can't lay her down without her constantly flipping over. We try rolling her back, and she just flips over again and again. I get the feeling that crawling's not too far off, though Margaret thinks it'll be a couple months. Today Riley started grabbing her spoon as mommy was trying to feed her. I wish I picked up things as quickly as she did. I hope y'all enjoy the pictures. Margaret continues to amaze me with her photography skills. We'll try to get back to posting more frequently on here.

I love my In-Laws!

I've been meaning to write this post for awhile and I don't really have an excuse to why I haven't. Laziness perhaps and most likely:)

My in-laws were in town about three weeks ago, and we were SO happy they were able to come down and visit! The last time they saw Riley she was 6 weeks old and only about 12 pounds? This time she was turning 4 months old and about 16 pounds. I was thrilled that they got to see Riley while she's still pretty small... If you can call a 17 pounds 4 month old small. It was a lot of fun having them here. Us girls, me, Gretchen, Maddy, My mother in law and her mother in law got to take our traditional trip to Olvera Street and Phillipes. We visited with other family around the area, got to meet up with my parents and took tons of pictures. (That I still need to work on and got on a cd!) Riley got to swim for the first time with her Grandmother and Aunt and loved every minute. Here's a video of them swimming:

I enjoyed having my in-laws here because they really are a second family and I really hate that we have to be a state apart. I am grateful that it is only a state and that it is possible to visit by car ride. Even if it is a few long hours... I'm also grateful that at least Heidi lives down here and we can visit her often. I'm blessed to have in-laws that are always so loving, so kind, so encouraging. In-laws that pray for Leif, Riley and I on a daily basis and love us unconditionaly. God has given me the best in-laws anyone could ask for. Seriously. I love the time I spend with each and every one of them. My parent in-laws are wonderful examples of a parents that have raised and loved their children in a godly way. Their marriage is also an example of the type of marriage I want Leif and I to have. They love God with all their hearts and its evident. Its also evident in each of their children. I love my three sister-in-laws and they each bless me in so many different ways! I'm praying that when Riley gets married that she'll marry into a wonderful family like I did.

I wish more than anything that they lived closer and could be with us all the time, and watch Riley get older. Until that happens, pictures, videos and Skype will have to do:)

Here are some pictures from the week they were here:

At the Union Station

Before we left for Olvera Street

Grandma:)

Sitting with Grandma

The butterfly Maddy caught
When they first arrived
Riley's grandpa!

Riley and Grandma.
Riley and Aunt Gretchen
Riley and Aunt Maddy!

My big girl.

This is Riley eating prunes. She hates them.

She can hold her bottle now.

She liked her new highchair.

Riley's highchair came today! Its funny because Leif ordered it last night at 4 and it was here by 9:30 this morning. Crazy. Its great and folds really small so we'll be able to take it with us places. Totally worth the $150. I hope? This is the highchair. I love it and its great with the little space we have. Riley is holding her bottle now which is crazy to me. She still struggles putting it back in her mouth but continues to work on it.
Riley's check up was yesterday, she got two shots and one oral one. She did well. I actually went into the room with her. Last time I didn't since she was getting like 5 shots. She didn't really cry until the second shot, and it was only for 5 seconds, so I didn't cry. I was proud of her. Riley weighs 17 pounds and is 25 inches. Big girl, haha. Its wonderful watching her grow, learning and doing new things everyday.

Okay, so I still need to write a post about my in-laws visit! That is coming soon!

Matt Logeline

A friend of mine showed me this blog that belongs to Matt Logeline a guy who lives here in So Cal. At first I was like cool? But then she explained why I should read it. Matt lost his wife on March 25, 2008. The day after she had given birth to their daughter. She stood up....had a pulmonary embolism, and died in her hospital room. That was about a year ago.

I went back and read through his entries starting at the birth of Madeline, his daughter, up until recently. The way Matt writes is so raw and honest. You can tell he's mourning and hurting for his wife, yet he loves his daughter so much, he'd do anything for her, like continue with life. Its beautiful to see how much he loved his wife and the support he has gotten from friends and family. His blog is also a reminder of how important it is to cherish those closest to you.

He has a link to his photos on flickr and there is this beautiful photo of his wife meeting Madeline for the first time after her c-section. I sobbed because I remember when I met Riley after my c-section. I'm so blessed to have my daugther and to have my husband.

I encourage you to read his blog. Say I love you more. And say a prayer for Matt and Madeline.