Sick.

All three of us are sick. Riley being the sickest:( Poor girl has lost her voice, so that when she cries no sound comes out. All you see is her face scrunch up and her open her mouth as if she is going to scream. Its partly funny but partly really sad. Leif has had the sore throat, headache and runny nose. Poor guy has been working everyday this week, although he feels so out of it. And I have been fighting it. Because well, I'm mommy and wife and if I get sick who will take care of daddy and baby? I think being sick while the rest of the family is sick just sucks. Its the worst thing in the world. You want to rest and not get out of bed but you have to. Dishes have to be washed, clothes have to be folded, babies need to get fed. All three of us have been sleeping together with the humidifier on. Its like when Riley was a newborn:) Baby has to go back to her own crib though as soon as she's better!

Thankfully my husband is such a great man. He has every other Friday off (I love that!) and instead of sleeping himself, he made sure I rested. I had been up the last two nights with Riley. I love him. And thankfully Riley has been handling being sick like a champ. She only fussed the first day, and after that has been her happy self. Sure she has no voice, has a runny nose and a gross cough but she doesn't care. Maybe its because of the extra attention? But really God has given Leif and I such a good girl. She's so calm about everything. It makes going out really easy on Leif and I. And makes being a parent super easy, haha. Unless its feeding time. Riley gets pissed if she's not fed when and where she wants. :) I'm so happy that night time feedings are almost non existent now!

So while we're all under the weather, things aren't really so bad. We're doing well and all of us are getting the rest we need. Just pray that Riley gets her little voice back because mommy and daddy miss it! And I'm sure she does too:) And pray that Leif and I are 101% better soon!

Even though she was sick she let mommy take a million pictures:)

Sacrifice.

Leif and I are in the process of taking bigger steps to get ourselves out of debt and to save money. We have goals for ourselves and our family. Leif would like to further his education in computers since that's what he does at JPL. Then eventually, hopefully be able to go back and get his M.A in Psychology, since well that's what he went to college for. I want to finish school but need to find a new major since my old one was limited to Biola and other private Christian schools. We want to be able to buy house, but only after debt has been taken care of. Thankfully I'm not having to pay off any of my school loans (Thank you wonderful parents) and so we only have to deal with Leifs. A year from now a big portion of our credit cards will hopefully be paid off and we'll have saved a bit of money.

To get to the places we would like to, it calls for sacrifice right now. Sacrifice is not always something I enjoy. Somedays are better than others. I think its hard to keep sacrificing when you don't see any change happening. I expect this BIG change right away, but sometimes its gradual. And with our current situation that's how it is.

Leif and I made a big decision to downsize from our current apartment to a smaller one. I had a really hard time with this. One, because I love my apartment. Its the first place I've ever lived on my own and called my home. Second, its so big and comfortable. I like being comfortable. I love all the space. But the smaller apartment is a smarter choice because: It costs less. Ugh. It still has two rooms and we'll be getting hardwood floors and ceiling fans. So I can't be that upset about it:) We also feel this is the way God is leading us. We can't really say no to Him, and we don't want to.

I know that in the long run this is what's best for our family and where we're headed. I know I'll look back a year from now and be so grateful we did this. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. I really appreciate them:)

Riley is 3 months.

Happy 3 months baby girl! We love every moment with you. You are precious and such a blessing. We will continue to love you and do our best to provide everything you need. Just keep growing, and being healthy. We love the big personality starting to come out! Thanks for keeping us on our toes, giving us your smiles and making us laugh. We love you more than anything and thank God for you all the time.

Gratitude Thursdsay.

Riley, I am grateful for you.
...For your smiles that are becoming bigger and more frequent everyday.
...For your little personality that is starting to show.
...For being so healthy and growing well! I love your little rolls.
...For being such a good baby, always letting mommy and daddy get sleep.
...For being calm and happy the majority of the time. Thank you!
...For the joy you bring me constantly, everyday all day.

Margaret's new haircut...

I cut off all of Margaret's hair tonight. Well, not all of it...just most of it. I think she looks beautiful. I was a little apprehensive when she asked me to cut it, cause I was afraid I'd screw it up, but it turned out pretty well. See for yourself.

This was taken just before we cut it.

Throwing away the old hair...

Riley asked me to teach her how to fly tonight too.

Moorea Seal.

We have a good friend Curtis who has started making beautiful necklaces with his lovely girlfriend Moorea Seal. Curtis works with the wood and Moorea does the rest. You can buy them at her Etsy shop. Here are some of my favorites:




Moorea is probably one of the most creative people I know. I'm pretty sure she does every type of art out there... Drawing, Watercolor, photography, music, etc. And every art she does, she does well. Here are some examples of her work:





Brilliant!

Valentines Day.

Happy Valentines Day from us to you!

Riley wearing her Valentines dress from Johnny and Alyssa.

Leif served me breakfast in bed with roses and some pretty new shoes!

Hope you all had a wonderful Valentines day!

Gratitude Thursday.

March 17, 2008. The day we found out we were pregnant!

I am grateful for you Leif.
...For your love for God. I prayed that I would marry a man of God. You are that man. The faith you have is one I hope to have one day. You never doubt God and His greatness. Even when things are bad you're the first one to help me remember that God is always in control and has a plan.
...For your friendship. You're so much more than a best friend to me. You're a good friend. A great one. Thank you for always wanting to do ridiculous things with me and never laughing at my ideas.
...For your patience. You are always reminding me of how important it is to be patient and to expect great things from God.
...For your kind heart. You are one of the kindest most loving people I know. You remind me of my dad. You are constantly doing for others.
...For the father you are becoming. I love watching you with Riley. You love her so much and its evident in all you do for her. You've changed a lot more diapers than me, woken up with her more during the night and have given Riley every one of her baths. Thank you.
...For your encouragement everyday. I need a lot of it, and you're more than happy to take the time to build me up. You are constantly keeping me on track and helping me get closer to goals I have.
...For the prayers that you pray for me.
...For loving me just as I am. For loving me as I change. For finding me beautiful. For thinking I'm the most wonderful person you've ever met!

One of the first pictures we ever took together:)
April 2007

[Why I'm starting Gratitude Thursday: Well I don't like Thursdays, they're boring to me. &This past fall I started making lists of things I was grateful for everyday, and post them on my livejournal. I thought by making these lists daily it would help remind of me of God's goodness and help me stay positive when things aren't so good:) Since Thursday is a day I really need to stay positive about, I decided to take my list idea and post it on here every Thursday. What are you grateful for today?]

The obvious.

Right now I wish that God would just give Leif and I a sign. A very clear one to be exact.

We recently decided that we are ready to move from our current apartment to something closer to Leif's work. We knew we wanted to do this when we first moved here to Monrovia. Leif's work is in Pasadena, about a 20 minute drive from where we live currently. And since its LA there's usually traffic in the mornings and the evenings, so really its more than 20 minutes.

We've found a few places by his work, but so far they've either been taken, too small, too expensive, or just crappy. Yet, there is one that is perfect. Its a little out of our price range but that's okay. Right? Well we want it to be alright, but we're not sure. We made a pro's and con's list and while the pro's outweighed the con's that wasn't enough to base a decision off of. I thought it would be though... Then we went over our budget, still that wasn't enough to make the decision. We prayed of course. But we still have no idea what to do! I thought it would be obvious what we were to do but its not! Do we move to this house? Or do we wait for another one? This is where I would like a sign to appear, or some guidance. Patience is not one of my virtues, I really want an answer now. When it comes down to it though, I simply want to do what God wants us to do, and I want to do what will be best for our family.

So if I could just figure out what that would be...

Best Parent. Ever.

As soon as you have a baby, actually, as soon as you let people know you're pregnant, they feel its their place to share their wisdom. Sometimes their advice is helpful, and other times just ridiculous. Everyone from your mother to the cashier at the grocery store has some input about how you should raise your child. Some people give this input as advice and suggestions, while others have no problem instructing you on what you should be doing. Then there are the few that let you know that... well you're just not a good parent. But you know what: I am the best parent, ever to be exact.

To my child that is.

But probably not to yours. And that's fine. I don't mind that all. It seems though that some parents honestly believe they are the best parents, not only to their children but they would be the best parents to other children as well. They also see it their place to let fellow parents know this. Where they have gotten this right I would love to know... I follow a few blogs, mostly design ones, but I throw in some parenting and family blogs as well. I also tend to visit some parenting websites that have boards for parents to discuss different topics amongst themselves. Well a popular theme that usually runs through most boards is "Who is parenting better". I've noticed that women love those kinds of discussions. They love being able to boast about the way they are raising their child. They also love to tear down the parenting styles of other mothers. I'm not sure why this is.

Now, there is nothing wrong with thinking the way you raise your child is the right way. Because, it probably is the right way, for your child and for you.* You just can't assume its the right way for another person's child. Your child is his/her own person, which you the mother know. You know your child like the back of your hand. Another mother's child though, you don't know. You don't know what would work or not work for them. You can only know what works best with your own child/children. You can give advice, suggest things but leave it at that. Stay on that side of the fine line. Don't try crossing it, and determining that you're the right one, and the other parent is not. At the end of the day you can argue and argue with another mother, but more chances than not, that woman is going to stick to the way she parents and you're going to stick to the way you parent. The end result will just be bitterness.

Don't get me wrong, I don't mind advice. In fact I love when my mom, my mother in law, and other women who have had and have children share their suggestions and wisdom with me. I need all the advice I can get! But when they start instructing me on how I should be parenting, i.e. spanking my child, not letting my child cry it out... so forth. Well then I'm going to stop listening. 'Cause at the end of the day, I'm Riley's mother and Leif is Riley's father. We're the ones doing the raising and we will make parenting decisions based on God's word and what we think is best for our child.

(*Unless you're beating your child and neglecting them... Then yeah, you're wrong)

Leif and I being the best parents ever, ha:)

Lets be honest...

... being a stay-at-home-mom is hard. And when I say its hard, I really mean lonely. I think that's the hardest part of mommyhood for me. The late night feedings, no problem. Being spit up on and poop explosions, not a big deal. Dealing with a fussy baby, I've got that. But spending almost everyday cooped up inside with really no where to go and no one to see, well that is killing me! Slowly. I seriously did not want to get out of bed the other day because I didn't want to through another boring day doing the same routine. Alone. Yes, I have Riley. And please, don't get me wrong. I love my daughter, I adore her. I would rather spend a million days with her than anyone else. BUT that doesn't change the fact that I need adult interaction. I need to leave my apartment. I need to do more than cleaning, because honestly, after awhile you run out of things to clean:) And I can't just cook all day, because well you run out of eggs eventually and then milk... I count down the hours until Leif comes home.

How do I go about this though when everyone I know is still in school and living 30 or more minutes away? Most of them don't plan on getting married anytime soon, and the ones who have or are, aren't going to be having children for awhile. We recently started going to a church out here in Pasadena, and its full of young couples with babies. We still haven't really made any friends there though. Its depressing and hard. I think the only way I've really stayed sane is the fact that I get to go and visit my friends on weekends and they try to come up and see me during the week when they can. At the same time I wish I had a good friend who lived around here, who also had children. I need someone I can relate to on that level. Thankfully I have met some nice girls online (babycenter.com) who have been more than wonderful and encouraging. I am so grateful for their friendships. Why must they live far away???

I know God is good... and He'll bring women into my life at the right time. In the mean time I'll be patient and try to enjoy the lonely days because those are the days that I usually talk to God the most.


And I'll also continue to enjoy the friendships I already have: I've been blessed and will continue to be blessed through them.