Sunday, February 1, 2009

Lets be honest...

... being a stay-at-home-mom is hard. And when I say its hard, I really mean lonely. I think that's the hardest part of mommyhood for me. The late night feedings, no problem. Being spit up on and poop explosions, not a big deal. Dealing with a fussy baby, I've got that. But spending almost everyday cooped up inside with really no where to go and no one to see, well that is killing me! Slowly. I seriously did not want to get out of bed the other day because I didn't want to through another boring day doing the same routine. Alone. Yes, I have Riley. And please, don't get me wrong. I love my daughter, I adore her. I would rather spend a million days with her than anyone else. BUT that doesn't change the fact that I need adult interaction. I need to leave my apartment. I need to do more than cleaning, because honestly, after awhile you run out of things to clean:) And I can't just cook all day, because well you run out of eggs eventually and then milk... I count down the hours until Leif comes home.

How do I go about this though when everyone I know is still in school and living 30 or more minutes away? Most of them don't plan on getting married anytime soon, and the ones who have or are, aren't going to be having children for awhile. We recently started going to a church out here in Pasadena, and its full of young couples with babies. We still haven't really made any friends there though. Its depressing and hard. I think the only way I've really stayed sane is the fact that I get to go and visit my friends on weekends and they try to come up and see me during the week when they can. At the same time I wish I had a good friend who lived around here, who also had children. I need someone I can relate to on that level. Thankfully I have met some nice girls online (babycenter.com) who have been more than wonderful and encouraging. I am so grateful for their friendships. Why must they live far away???

I know God is good... and He'll bring women into my life at the right time. In the mean time I'll be patient and try to enjoy the lonely days because those are the days that I usually talk to God the most.


And I'll also continue to enjoy the friendships I already have: I've been blessed and will continue to be blessed through them.

5 comments:

Jacqueline and Michael said...

Oh honey. I wish we lived close to each other!

Yes, I have to agree with you about things being lonely. I so wish I just had Michael to at least be home at night with me while I'm up so much with Lucy. And just having a fussy baby all day to talk to isn't always fun. Being a mommy is amazing, but its not always roses and sunshine. I think most of us stay-at-home moms feel like you do at times, but some just won't admit it!

I love you and really appreciate your honesty. Its refreshing!

WorryWart said...

It's funny...I want to be a SAHM more than anything in the world!! But people say the same thing to me, "What will you do with all your time?" Why not join a Mommy and me class or classes! You should check out Bellysprout.com They have a store in Fullerton where they have FREE mommy and me classes on Friday. You can meet other Mommas there that are in the same mind set as you!!

Hang in there!! Soon enough she'll be talking to back to you like an adult!!! :)

Margaret said...

Be at Stay-at-home-mom! and I am looking into some classes:) Thanks for sharing about that website!

Nikki said...

I'm totally feeling the same way! That's why I joined a Mommy & Me and am trying to do more with the ladies in that group. It's the only way I can keep my sanity... I wished we lived closer together too! *hugs*

Megan Marie said...

riley has the coolest mom. i enjoyed reading your heart. i went to San Francisco this weekend and I hardly saw any children at all. there was this awesome little boy with his mommy and he started to cry, and i swear, the whole line of people backed up and had expressions like "yuck." they don't know what they're missing. they're living the dream city life, that i envy so much, yet for all their social contact, they're more alone than they even realize. it feels less lonely to know that there are people like you out there who get it, and know the love and sorrows that come with giving one life up to live a greater one. hang in. over there.