Saturday, May 23, 2009

Good News/Bad News

So we have some good and exciting news: Leif got the job in Monterey! We're very excited, nervous but excited:) This is going to be a new adventure for us and we're ready! We can't wait to experience something so different than we've ever experienced before. While its nerve-racking to move away from family and close friends, its thrilling because you don't know what to expect. We're being thrown into something very new, where we will definitely have to leave our comfort zone. We know that God has big plans for us and knows whats He's doing. Its such a comfort and joy to know that our God is leading us somewhere to better serve Him.

We found a community about a mile and a half from Leif's job, that was formally military housing. Its for government employees and I believe ex-military. They have some houses open and we're praying that we're able to get one. It would be a nice change to live in a house, instead of an apartment. And I would love a yard! Also, who doesn't want a free gym membership? We're going to start packing this coming week, just a little by little... And we're enjoying our last few weeks here in Southern California. It's going to be hard to leave but, and its weird that I say this, it feels like its time.
Our bad, well sad, news is that most likely I've miscarried. Most people don't like to tell people they're pregnant until about 12 weeks, when your risk of miscarriage has gone way down. But I wanted to make sure I shared that I was pregnant with as many people as possible. Because it is so important to me to have all the support and prayers possible. And if I did has a miscarriage, I would still have the support and prayers .

Thursday I started spotting, but then it stopped and I made an appointment for the following day. Instead of sitting around that night I went and spent time with close friends. I needed to be around people that loved and cared for me. It helped. I slept well that night, comforted by prayers. The following day we went to the doctor and saw the sac. It was too early for a heartbeat and too early to tell if the baby was growing normally or abnormally. That was hard to hear, I was praying we would hear a heartbeat. Instead I was sent to the lab to test my hormone levels. I have to go back on Tuesday to retest and then have the levels compared. If they have gone up then that's wonderful, if not... Well no so good. The bleeding started again last night and when we went to bed it was hard. I was in so much pain, I just cried because it hurt so bad. When I woke up this morning I had peace. While we're still praying and hoping, both Leif and I are at peace with what has happened. There is a chance I'm still pregnant but its a small chance.

I know that God is good, I also know He has a plan and usually I don't understand this plan. This is one of those times I don't understand but I'm not upset. I always thought I would be but I'm happy. I'm so blessed and thankful. All I can think about is just how wonderful and good my Father is. If my baby wasn't suppose to be born, then it wasn't. God knows more than I, and trust Him. Last year, I wouldn't have said that but thankfully I've learned how to trust and let go of things. God will bless me with more children when the timing is right. I don't doubt that at all!

Its amazing how amidst tragedy you really can see just how great God is.
Thank you all for your prayers and love:)!

11 comments:

Madison said...

I'm so sorry to hear about the possible miscarriage, Margaret. I love your positive calm about the whole situation, though. Sometimes life throws us curve balls that test our faith, and you are handling this with absolute grace. I'm sending you a big hug and keeping you in my prayers!

Oh and I'm excited to hear about Monterey =) Its so beautiful! I have always wanted to live there.

Melissa Vossler said...

I just love reading your thoughts. I'm praying Gods will for every facet of your lives. I'm hoping for a healthy baby, but I also know that God has everything under control.

Hang in there, and looking forward to the 6th!!

Nikki said...

*HUGS* to you - you are an inspiration. We can only embrace what we've been given and keep looking forward to what's being laid out before us.

Moorea Seal said...

I LOVE YOU.

with all my prayers.

Jacqueline said...

Oh honey I'm so sorry to hear about the miscarriage. I cringed reading your post because I remember the pain of the 2 that I had. Both of them left me double over unable to stand because the pain was so bad. I know what you are going through but you seem to have a much better attitude than I did. We're praying for you!

Chanel said...

you're going to love Monterey! I lived there for 2 years and it is one of the most beautiful places to live. don't get discouraged about the fog and rain though. the good days in Monterey are worth it. I wanna see pics when you move!!! Congrats to Leif on the new job.

I'm sorry to hear about the miscarriage, but it's very admirable how you are handling it. Your faith in God is magnificent.

Squeaksdaddy said...

Margaret,

I just wanted to tell you that my family will be praying for yours. It was hard to read this post...But you have such an amazing outlook. God does have a plan for each of us and I only pray he blesses you and your family with good fortune. Stay strong...

Your strenghth is an inspiration,

JJ

CW said...

I am sorry for your loss...However, I am believing in better days to come...You guys are in my thoughts & prayers!

Samaria said...

I am going to hope and pray you are not having a misscarriage.

Sarah+2girls said...

I'll be praying for you.

Sweetydarling72 said...

I too am HOPING and PRAYING you have not had a miscarriage! Be strong and keep us posted. I know your positive nature will help you through.