Disconnected.

       I'm not sure what I'd like to say... Maybe that I'm really tired and I miss my best friends. I don't remember the last time I talked to my mom or my sister. Let alone, my dad.  I realized the other day that I'm working hard at something because I think thats what I'm suppose to do but not necessarily what I'd like to do.  I thought a talk I was going to have yesterday with someone would encourage and help me, but it just further confused me. I hate being disappointed : /

    I do know that I'm thankful for the people who I never expected to be close friends. Those are the people that build me up the most and support me no matter what. I am happy for this last week because I've had a lot of clarity when it comes to my photography (Did you guys know I changed blogs?) I know what direction I want to go with it, and I'm so happy about that. I'm still feeling disconnected from things and I'm not sure why. No matter what my house is never all the way clean, there are always dishes in my sink, always laundry to be washed or folded (or both), one of the kids or Leif needs me, there are always meals to be cooked, always photos to be edited, always lots of emails to return, always errands that need to be run, always people I need to see and call... Always. I'm never on top of everything, no matter how hard I try. Its discouraging. I try to accept it but I hate that sometimes I drop the ball. Well drop it often.

   Leif and the kids still love me though, despite how messy things get around here:) I am happy to be loved by them.