We're Moving!

Like the blog subject reads: We're moving!
Remember my blog post about how a New Season was upon us?
Well it is! 

Dreams come true, we are moving to Oregon :)
Where our hearts have been since we started dating.
Where we decided we wanted to raise our family when we had kids.
Where we wanted to buy a house.

It hasn't set in really.
Although we move in 11 days. Yes, 11 days!
I'm in a daze.

Although my house is slowly filling up with boxes and we've been eating on paper plates.
I still can't believe we're about to move to another state.

I haven't really reached the point of excitement yet. 

I just hope I can make it through the day.

Theres so much to pack, photos to finish editing, people to see... so forth.

We already have our apartment. 

That's one less thing to worry about.

I'm not excited about our new place, but its only for a year. 

Or so we think/hope.

Leif really wants to buy a house sooner than later so we're really downsizing.

Our rent in Oregon is more than half of what it is here in California.

Crazy right?!

We told Riley she was going to be living near Grandma and Grandpa J. and everyday she asks

if we're going to our new house yet :)

I'm so thankful that the door was open for Leif to get a new job in Oregon.

I'm thankful that we'll be so close to family, and that the kids will be around their grandparents and aunts.

I'm thankful that I'll get to be surrounded by friends I miss so much.

I'm thankful for the change that will be happening to our family and the new adventures we have ahead of us.

A New Season

     A new season is beginning.  I feel it.  Do you ever just feel that way? That change is coming? That everything you've known for the last few months will no longer be? I suddenly feel as if the trials I experienced have prepared me for whats next.  Today I felt God put on my heart: "You are prepared. You weren't ready before but now you are".  I feel at peace in a way I hadn't before and I feel as if the last few months, the hardships, the pain, the tears, the work, it was worth it just to hear that I'm ready.

  I wish I knew what I was ready for :) But I'm definitely celebrating this new season that will be coming.  A new leaf has been turned over it seems.  How fitting that spring is coming... Winter is ending, things are becoming new again.  New meaning has been given to my life and breathing fresh air never felt so wonderful. God is always so faithful and His timing so perfect. I know this, yet I fight and I question.  I am so grateful for His patience :)!

    I wish I could describe this breakthrough in my life.  I can say though, as soon as I gave up trying to make things go my way, the minute I allowed God to take control things began to change.  When I mean change I don't mean this physical change, but more of an emotional & spiritual change that has in turn over flowed into my marriage, my parenting, my home, my relationships, my health, my business... Its the whole working on your heart, and how you are on the inside so that it then shows on the outside.  BASICALLY: I can't do any of this on my own. I need to lean on God always.  He's my strength.

Here's to 2010!

  While the end of 2010 wasn't the best I am thankful for a lot of things that happened to us this year. We saw a lot of change and we were most definitely blessed. Not only did we welcome another member into our family, but a business was started, our first family car was bought, we got our first family pet, Leif's job switched from contractor to federal employee and we were able to celebrate another birthday with our daughter.

I see even greater things happening in 2011:)  

Whats Next

      We're experiencing a lot of change around here.  Beck is slowly leaving the baby behind and getting closer to becoming a toddler.  I feel as if his journey to toddlerhood marks the end of a chapter for Leif and I. Riley's little brother is now more of a playmate and best friend.  My diaper bag is becoming lighter, and the bottles are now gone.  I get excited when I think of life without a baby. Not that toddlers are so much easier, but its different. To the married couple who aren't parents, this isn't that big of a milestone but it is for us.  We've had babies for the last two years and I don't even remember life without always holding, rocking and feeding a baby. Riley had about three months as a toddler without Beck but I don't recall it that well...

    I think this new part of life we're about to enter has made me want a baby a bit. But then I remember that I need to enjoy now. I feel as if I missed parts of Riley's growing up because I was pregnant or had to watch a newborn. If we're meant to have another baby it'll happen when its time.  For now we are about to be parents to two toddlers. Lots more potty training and funny stories ahead for us!

  I'm going through a personal journey at the moment as well. I think the reason I haven't been blogging is because I wasn't ready to talk about this. I'm ready now. When I said I felt forgotten here in Monterey, I didn't mean by friends, I simply meant by God. I am sorting out what I believe. I grew up a certain way, and was taught a certain way. What to believe, who to be believe in. Even when I was at Biola and they challenged us to question our beliefs I was too afraid to. I remember once, while at a Buddhist temple, I thought maybe what I've grown up on is wrong? And that scared me so I never thought about it again.  But now I think about it often. I talk about it. God says to love Him with your heart and your mind.  For me it has always been mostly my heart. I'm an emotional person. I love with everything I am. I'm impulsive. This is why Leif is perfect for me. He's the opposite when it comes to things like this. He approaches everything from an academic standpoint and doesn't base things off of feelings.

    I am struggling. Really struggling. I believe in a God of love and grace. I believe He has made us equal, as in, we are all created in His image.  Yet, the church has told me that homosexuals aren't equal. They don't deserve what the heterosexuals deserve.  To me that goes against God's nature. I've seen the church use politics and take advantage of people. Men aren't perfect, they are human. But its hard to watch someone lead a congregation and have a staff that is corrupt because, at the end of the day they're just like you and I. They'd have you think otherwise though.  I defend the church. I say every church is different, make excuses for them, but more and more I think I'm wrong.  I want to have hope, because I'm a hopeful person, but I think this process is needed. If anything I'll just learn more about God and myself. Send me some prayers or positive vibes or whatever:)

This Season of our Lives

       The past few months have been trying on Leif and I.  I'm not even sure where to start. We've broken down a lot in the last few weeks.  We've been frustrated and angry.  There have been tears and lots of questions. "Why are we in Monterey?!" "Why are our kids growing up so far from their grandparents?" I know personally I've been upset with God and impatient with Him.  I know there is a reason we are here, I know its important for something but we aren't seeing answers.  That's hard on us.  We haven't been happy, content yes, but not happy. We're tired and worn out.  We feel as if we have no control and we have to just sit here and watch what unfolds. Isn't that how it is though? From work to not being able to go out alone to the kids sleeping in our bed instead of their own.  Things around the house keep breaking and we think we're ahead but then a doctor bill comes. We don't want to use credit cards but somehow we end up using them.  Nothing seems to go the way we planned. We've been in situations where nothing went according to plan but for some reason this time of our lives is especially hard.

    We were driving down to Southern California for Thanksgiving and Rileys birthday (I have to post about our now 2-year old!) and Leif and I talked about how this is just a season.  It'll pass. Before we know it we won't be in Monterey, and we will be living near family and having to adjust to that. Our kids are going to be sleeping in their own beds for the rest of their lives so why worry about them wanting to be close to us now? There will come a time when Leif and I can go on dates as much as we want, we should take advantage of the family time now. Work will have its stressful moments but thankfully Leif has a job and my business has been growing. We can pay our bills and buy food and put gas in our car.

    Its hard living when you feel as if you can't stay above the water or find your footing. It really breaks a person when you constantly feel discouraged.  I've never experienced this before so I'm really overwhelmed and unsure of what to do or how to handle everything. Normally I feel so prepared and know how to handle what life throws at me. But not this time. Dare I say it? I feel as if we have been forgotten here. I know this isn't true, but thats how it feels.  I'm comforted though when I remember that this is a season. Be it long or short, its a season.  And we will get through it.

  I must say the kids have been a constant reminder of goodness and joy for Leif and I.  We are so blessed, even in times where it seems like nothing is going right.  I know that I speak for both of us when I say that our babies have been the best things that have happened to us:)

   On to brighter and better things! I've been posting more frequently on my photo blog, photos of the kids and other things. Check it out! Just posted a new post about making changes in 2011! Photo blog!

November

    October was not my month. November, on the other hand, is! I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to wake up on Monday knowing it was November 1st. I was relieved and ready for some change. I know it seems odd that I would be that anxious to change months, but its made the biggest difference! My attitude is different and things are going much more smoothly. Granted, it is only the first week of November but I have a wonderful feeling about this month!

   I'm also really excited that its November because that means my baby girl will be celebrating her 2nd birthday on Thanksgiving! Eek! I think we're going to throw her a birthday party here in Monterey and in L.A. I'm excited:) She keeps saying "Happy Birthday Riley!" It always blows my mind that I'm Riley's mom. That two years ago she was still in my tummy and Leif and I would talk about what we thought she'd be like. Its weird that there was a time when she wasn't here, wasn't part of our family. I can't imagine life without her. She's the perfect mix of Leif and I.  She's loud like me, but cautious like Leif. She observes a lot like Leif and loves people the way I do. She's very nurturing, wanting to take care of everyone. When someone hurts she hurts as well, ready to comfort. While shes caring she's independent and likes to do her own thing. She'll watch something you do once and repeat it perfectly. Many times she wants nothing to do with other kids but would rather sit with the adults "talking" and doing what they do. She would rather hang out with Beck though... Anytime she sits anywhere, eats anything, takes a bath, etc she asks for Beck or to share with Beck. I hope this continues!

  Leif and I are in constant amazement of Riley. She picks things up fast and puts so many sentences together but we have no idea that she knew half of the words she says. I love watching her personality develop as she gets older. Its weird because its like she was always like this. From the beginning. Its just much more obvious now. So amazing!

We're here.

We are all moved in. Most of our boxes are unpacked and we're slowly getting organized. We haven't ventured out too much. Mostly runs to Target and World Market. Tonight we did visit the Farmers Market, which is something we went to every Friday night in Monrovia. We were happy to find out that there was one about 5 minutes from our new place, that takes place every Tuesday night. I love getting fresh vegetables and handmade earrings:)

I'm a little overwhelmed by the moving, having a cranky baby who is crawling, pulling herself up to stand and getting into everything, unpacking and organizing, being in a place that's completely new and not having a church to go to. So stressed. God is good though and I know He's going to bless us here.

On Our Way.

We're all packed up and on our way... Almost. We're staying overnight at my parents and leaving tomorrow morning. Bright and early. I'm looking forward to the 5 hour drive because I get to spend it with my sister. So thankful she's coming with me. Not only because it'll be helpful with the baby, but it will be wonderful to just talk and enjoy each others company.

I'm excited because we're embarking on our new adventure. God is so good! Please pray the drive goes well and safely!

Leif and his 30+shoes.
I only own about 7 pairs. Ridiculous.

Saying Goodbye.

I don't like to say goodbye. I avoid it at all costs. I'm not sure why I hate it so much, but I do. Tonight I had to say goodbye. I didn't cry, but I almost did. A good friend of ours threw us a wonderful going away party. I got threw all of the goodbyes but when it came time for me to say goodbye to him, I wanted to cry. I hated the idea of being far away and not having random visits from him. I've been really positive about moving, looking forward to the change and the adventure. But this week has been so hard on me. Its set in that my friends are now going to be hours away, not minutes. We actually have to plan in advance for their visits and may go months without seeing them. How scary is that?

Never in my life have I ever had to start over. Even going away to college I knew a good amount of people. Actually, I could go anywhere in Southern California and know people. But now at 21, I'm finally (for reals) going to be on my own. Its so foreign to me and this week I really wondered if I could do it. Am I strong enough to start from scratch? I cried a lot this week and prayed. Tonight made me dread Sunday even more. I love dinner parties that include good conversation and dancing. So comfortable and perfect. At the same time though it made me wish it was here already. I think I'm kind of looking forward to being out of my comfort zone. I am so grateful for the wonderful people who have been by my side the last few years, especially the last four. God has blessed me and shown me His grace and love through their friendships. I know He'll provide that again. I just have to trust and be patient. I've also decided that I'm not really going to be saying goodbye because really I'll see all these people again. Maybe not every week but for weekend visits and holidays, which I'll take!

Also, here are some pictures I took at Disneyland the other day:

I think Riley enjoyed her first trip.

I think this was Riley's favorite part. Sitting on daddy's shoulders.

6 Days

We're 6 days away from moving. 6 days away from becoming residents of the bay area. 6 days away from finally having a dishwasher. 6 days away from having our own backyard. 6 days away from being completely on our own. 6 days away from leaving family and friends and basically starting over... 6 days away from our new adventure!
People keep asking me how I feel about it, and honestly I'm so excited and anxious. I want to move already. At the same time though, I'm having a hard time with the idea of leaving people, especially my parents and my church family. I know God is going to bring people into our lives, people that will bless us in many ways. I just wish I could just bring everyone with me:)

Pish on Packing.

I hate packing! I especially hate it because I'm doing the majority of it alone. See that pile there? That's a lot to me... And I was so proud of myself but then I walked through my apartment and got that sinking feeling. I was no where near being done.

Lucky for me I'm having a packing party tonight so hopefully that will make a difference:) And this is helping me get through the day: Black Cab Sessions. Its a website that features different bands playing in black cabs in the UK. Its one of the most brilliant things I've ever seen. Go check it out, you'll be happy you did.

By the way: HAPPY JUNE! Celebrate by having a picnic, going to the beach, swimming, having a bbq... You know summer things:) Welcome this month right!

New home.

My new room

We signed the lease for our new place yesterday. It's in Monterey...well, technically it's Seaside. About a mile or two from Leif's work. He could ride a bike or walk:) Its also 0.8 miles from good friends of ours. Only God could make something like this happen... There is no way Leif and I would have thought to look for housing where we did if it wasn't for someone at his new job telling him about it. Then it just so happened that our friends also lived in this community. And within walking distance. Only God!

Our home is going to be in ex-military housing, which is kind of fun. Our house... well I guess really it's a duplex, was built in the 1950's and I'm in love. Anything built before 1970 is perfect to me. It's also double our apartment size, so that's a plus. I also love that we live in a community that is both civilian and military. I feel safer knowing I'm surrounded by the Navy, Army and Air Force :) Too bad I don't get their discount.

I'm excited to have a front and back yard. I will be able to have my garden that I've been wanting for! I'll also finally have my dishwasher and my own washer and dryer. Thank Jesus! Seriously, I'm tired of doing the dishes by hand, and doing the laundry was becoming a lot more complicated now that Riley is moving about.

Leif and I are so excited for the move. Our packing party is on Tuesday and we'll be packing up until about the 12th or 13th. Then we're off the 14th. The closer we get to moving, the more ready and excited I become. 14 days!

Growing up.

Riley reached 6 months on the 25th.

The 25th was also Memorial Day. I hope you all enjoyed the holiday, spent it with friends & family and rested! We had a good Memorial Day, it was a nice break and change of pace:)

Good News/Bad News

So we have some good and exciting news: Leif got the job in Monterey! We're very excited, nervous but excited:) This is going to be a new adventure for us and we're ready! We can't wait to experience something so different than we've ever experienced before. While its nerve-racking to move away from family and close friends, its thrilling because you don't know what to expect. We're being thrown into something very new, where we will definitely have to leave our comfort zone. We know that God has big plans for us and knows whats He's doing. Its such a comfort and joy to know that our God is leading us somewhere to better serve Him.

We found a community about a mile and a half from Leif's job, that was formally military housing. Its for government employees and I believe ex-military. They have some houses open and we're praying that we're able to get one. It would be a nice change to live in a house, instead of an apartment. And I would love a yard! Also, who doesn't want a free gym membership? We're going to start packing this coming week, just a little by little... And we're enjoying our last few weeks here in Southern California. It's going to be hard to leave but, and its weird that I say this, it feels like its time.
Our bad, well sad, news is that most likely I've miscarried. Most people don't like to tell people they're pregnant until about 12 weeks, when your risk of miscarriage has gone way down. But I wanted to make sure I shared that I was pregnant with as many people as possible. Because it is so important to me to have all the support and prayers possible. And if I did has a miscarriage, I would still have the support and prayers .

Thursday I started spotting, but then it stopped and I made an appointment for the following day. Instead of sitting around that night I went and spent time with close friends. I needed to be around people that loved and cared for me. It helped. I slept well that night, comforted by prayers. The following day we went to the doctor and saw the sac. It was too early for a heartbeat and too early to tell if the baby was growing normally or abnormally. That was hard to hear, I was praying we would hear a heartbeat. Instead I was sent to the lab to test my hormone levels. I have to go back on Tuesday to retest and then have the levels compared. If they have gone up then that's wonderful, if not... Well no so good. The bleeding started again last night and when we went to bed it was hard. I was in so much pain, I just cried because it hurt so bad. When I woke up this morning I had peace. While we're still praying and hoping, both Leif and I are at peace with what has happened. There is a chance I'm still pregnant but its a small chance.

I know that God is good, I also know He has a plan and usually I don't understand this plan. This is one of those times I don't understand but I'm not upset. I always thought I would be but I'm happy. I'm so blessed and thankful. All I can think about is just how wonderful and good my Father is. If my baby wasn't suppose to be born, then it wasn't. God knows more than I, and trust Him. Last year, I wouldn't have said that but thankfully I've learned how to trust and let go of things. God will bless me with more children when the timing is right. I don't doubt that at all!

Its amazing how amidst tragedy you really can see just how great God is.

Thank you all for your prayers and love:)!

Summertime.

Summer has arrived. At least it feels like it has. The weather has been perfect and hot. We even got to take Riley swimming the other day... She had fun a lot of fun splashing about with Leif, while I of course took pictures. :)

I love summer. Two years ago was the summer I was dating Leif, and we spent a majority of it apart from each other. We had only been dating one month before I moved back home for summer vacation. I spent that summer writing him lots of letters and emails. My evenings were filled with phone calls and online chatting with him. Then that August, we eloped. The following summer I was going to turn 21, and I was also 4 months pregnant when summer began. Leif and I spent that summer watching movies most nights, playing Wii, and going to the Farmers Market. I really enjoyed that summer. Leif and I really kept to ourselves, trying to enjoy every minute together because in just a few short months our daughter would be joining us.

This summer will be a lot different than my previous summers. I'm a mommy this summer, and I'm also pregnant, again. I will be moving to a whole new place, one I've never lived in or close to. It will be my first summer away from my family. But I am looking forward to taking Riley to the beach, be it in Monterey or in Oregon. I'm looking forward to sewing curtains and seat cushions. I'm looking forward to cooking more meals for Leif and giving Riley ice cream for the first time. I'm looking forward to sign language and polaroids. I'm looking forward to date nights with my husband and staying up late playing wii tennis. I'm looking forward to train rides and bike rides. I'm looking forward to the change my life is about to take on this summer.

Milestones.

The last few weeks Riley has reached a lot of different milestones. She holds her bottle now with no help, always grabbing it out of my hands. That makes shopping and going out much easier for us. She sits without support, and can actually stop herself from falling over by putting her hands out. Riley holds her spoon and I let her feed herself when I'm in the mood to be patient:) Otherwise I hold her hand, cause she'll grab the spoon from me, so we can get it over with. Her first tooth broke through a couple of weeks ago which we weren't expecting at all. I hate sticking my finger in her mouth because she'll chomp down and it hurts! She's reaching for everything and anything, if she's sitting on my lap I have to make sure she can't touch anything. Or else it'll all end up on the floor or in her mouth. What I'm most excited about is Riley can now scoot and crawl a bit. Thankfully she can't go far so I don't have to baby proof everything. But everyday she seems to go a bit further...

I wasn't expecting all of this so soon, but I guess Riley has other plans.

The Changes

Things have changed once again around here. I love it. I will never get tired of it. Leif and I are welcoming the 5th month of Riley's life and are still shocked that it's gone by so fast. I know I say it all the time, but seriously, it's flying by! God has been so good and continues to be good. We found out recently that Leif got his raise. We weren't sure about it because of the economy and funding at his job, but like I said before: God is good. At times like these I'm so grateful for the job Leif has and that it's a good job that makes it possible for bills to be paid, and for needs to be met. Its also nice to have extra money to put away or to spend. We're still using one car, but its nice to be able to use the money we would have used on another car, towards debt or bills. So far it hasn't been a problem, and when I think about where we'll be in 5 years, it's worth it:) Although its not really needed, I'm learning how to cut back in certain areas and just live without certain things. Just in case it gets to that point; plus life is so much better without having a lot of things and possessions.

I've started going to Mommy & Me at church and also joined another mommy's group that does different events weekly. The mommy's group is actually for women who have biracial or multi ethnic children. I'm loving it. I'm not the type to sit around at home and I don't think Riley is either... I love being out and about! So grateful that God has provided these things for me and Riley to be part of. I need to be surrounded by other mothers, especially mothers who serve Jesus:) On that note, we have been loving church. Its such a wonderful family of believers. And when I say family, it literally feels like family. And I love it. I am so happy we found a church home like this. I knew that when I had children I wanted to be part of a church that operated like a family, and here we are! Being part of a church has been wonderful. I'm constantly being reminded to pursue God and love Him in ways I never have. I'm also learning how to apply God's word to my marriage and to parenting. So important!

While I sit here and write this my daugther is slowly making her way across the room. She isn't crawling...she's scooting. I'm learning that I can't turn my head for a minute, whether she's in her walker or on her belly, she'll get to whatever it is she wants to get to. Although she's thrilled about, it I'm not... Riley also cut her first tooth yesterday. Monday she started teething really bad for about two hours, then yesterday the tooth broke through. I wasn't expecting any of this for awhile. I was hoping Riley would be slow about everything. I wanted her to stay little and need me forever! I guess she has a plan of her own:)

Oregon is still the plan and I'm pretty sure God is preparing us for it. Especially me. Everyday I become more at peace about it and excited. We've also been having friends and family over constantly, which I'm thankful about since we'll be moving soon. I'm trying to enjoy every moment here in California, and I'm seeing it through new eyes with a new love and appreciation. The people I know here cannot and will not ever be replaced, so I'm making sure I get to spend as much time with them as I can.

Say a prayer for us today/tonight. I'll do the same for you:)!

My big girl.

This is Riley eating prunes. She hates them.

She can hold her bottle now.

She liked her new highchair.

Riley's highchair came today! Its funny because Leif ordered it last night at 4 and it was here by 9:30 this morning. Crazy. Its great and folds really small so we'll be able to take it with us places. Totally worth the $150. I hope? This is the highchair. I love it and its great with the little space we have. Riley is holding her bottle now which is crazy to me. She still struggles putting it back in her mouth but continues to work on it.
Riley's check up was yesterday, she got two shots and one oral one. She did well. I actually went into the room with her. Last time I didn't since she was getting like 5 shots. She didn't really cry until the second shot, and it was only for 5 seconds, so I didn't cry. I was proud of her. Riley weighs 17 pounds and is 25 inches. Big girl, haha. Its wonderful watching her grow, learning and doing new things everyday.

Okay, so I still need to write a post about my in-laws visit! That is coming soon!

4 months!

Riley turned 4 months old yesterday! Happy 4 months baby girl:) Slow the growing down please!

Of course Riley has changed a lot since she turned 3 months old. She's been a lot more vocal which is fun. She has a lot to say:) And has been more than happy to share. She's also learned how to scream and squeal. The first time I heard Riley scream I panicked and thought something happened but no, she was just laying in her swing smiling and screaming. Anytime she gets excited, which is often, she'll express it with a scream or squeal. Very high ones at that. But I love it, because they're always accompanied by the biggest smiles. Every month Riley's personality becomes more evident. I think every month I realize "she's definitely my daughter ". Our personalities are SO similar. While she's a happy calm baby, she always is a demanding one who can get frustrated easily. Food must be given on command and if it isn't she won't let you hear the end of it. As soon as she eats she is her pleasant self again. She hates that she can't walk or crawl. It causes so much frustration to her, so tummytime has to be done in intervals or else she'll end up pissed off because she's not moving forward.

We've also learned that Riley likes attention and likes to feel included when there are many people around. No longer can she sit in her bouncer content while mommy and daddy converse with others, no, she must be playing with us or talking to us and with us. She loves people and loves to smile at them. If you'll talk to her, she has a smile for you. Even strangers. We've also started Riley on solids. We started her a week early because she blows through formula and never seems to be full. She is loving the food, especially the sweet potatoes. I'm not sure how she feels about the peas. I'm not sure how I feel about them! They smell awful. I love the solid food. Feeding times are faster this way, and its a lot more fun for me to feed her while she's sitting up. We can talk that way:) I also like the fact that she is holding her own bottle. Free hands for mommy!

Riley is fitting into some of her 9 month clothing. Not a big shock. She grows like a weed. And eats like a little piggy. Thankfully her growing is even. She has her rolls in the right places but isn't a super fat baby. I mean, I can still hold her, so...She's the right height for her weight. We're guessing she's weighing in at about 17 pounds now. We'll find out next Friday when Riley goes in for her next round of shots. Pray that goes well, as well as the last ones! Riley has two teeth on her bottom gums that you can feel and see, thankfully, thankfully she hasn't been cranky or fussy because of this. I'm hoping it stays that way! Nap times are being fought but bedtimes are going well. Riley can go down awake and fall asleep on her own. That's a big accomplishment for Leif and I, at least we think so. Riley made it pretty easy though, not having to be rocked to sleep. For awhile she was sleeping through the night but being sick threw that off. We're slowly getting back to the 6am breakfast/wake up time. For now we're at 4/5am feedings. As long as I get a solid 4 hours I'm good to go.

I'm amazed at just how much Riley has changed and continues to change. I'm also amazed at how my love grows for her. Even when she's being a fussypants about her food, I find myself loving her more and more. She is such a blessing and blesses us everyday. We're very thankful to God!

*Wow, that was a long update. I guess a lot has changed since the last Riley update. Sweet. :) Hope you're all well and good! And I promise the next one won't be soooooo long.

I'm liking the change.

Every week, as Riley changes, she becomes more alert and responsive. Its hard for me to remember when all she could do was sleep and eat. She's constantly interacting with Leif and I. Mostly with smiles and loud coo'ing. She attempts to laugh but so far its just this odd noise. The picture above is actually her in the middle of laughing. Riley totally scrunches up her nose while she laughs (or whatever you would call it) and I think its the cutest and funniest thing ever.

While she matures so many things change. Her sleeping habits. Her eating habits. She's becoming her own person with her own dislikes and likes. Its fun to watch and be part of. Everyday is like a new adventure. You're not really sure what you're going to get from her or what exactly to expect. We'll have a routine down and then suddenly a new routine will emerge.

I have to say I'm liking staying at home with her a lot more now. Before it was boring and I was running out of stuff to do. Now I can take her on walks in her stroller without the big carseat and play with her and have her respond to me. Don't get me wrong, I loved having a newborn and I can't wait to have another one. But I'm also loving having an infant who smiles whenever I talk to her and can play with me. I know its going to keep getting more fun as time goes on. While I'm looking forward to all the milestones ahead, I'm making sure I'm enjoying everyday. I know that before I know it she'll be walking and talking and feeding herself. Until then I'm going to enjoy changing every diaper, waking up with her at night and carrying her around in her carseat.