Thanks to Monterey

   It hit me the other day that I just might like living in Monterey. I surprised myself when I thought this. For the last almost two years we've been praying that God will make moving possible. To be close to family again. But the last few months I've felt like I should just take advantage of living here while I can because there will be a time when we'll move. Who knows when that'll be, but it'll happen and I know that I'll regret not getting to know Monterey.

  Lately I've been feeling overwhelmingly blessed to have the opportunity to live here and to know the people we know.  While connecting with people was slower in some ways, God definitely brought people early on that helped the transition.  I've been kind of freaking out at the idea of moving again. This has become home, and this is where I've grown up.  That sounds odd, but it hit me the other day: Living in Monterey is the first time I've really been on my own.  I don't know if people know this but when I was in school, my parents paid for everything. I had a part time job but that was just extra spending money. Then I got married and went from having my parents provide for me to having Leif take on that role. After Riley was born I still heavily relied on Leif and my parents. I drove out to be with my mom a few times a week and would have her come over to help with Riley. Now it seems silly of course but I was a first time mom & newlywed:) When we had to move to Monterey it took a little time for it to sink in that I was for the most part on my own.  When it finally hit me I had a hard time. While I struggled, I also began to grow. There were many frustrating conversations with God, and I was jealous of everyone who lived near family. Why didn't I get the luxury to lean on my parents and close friends while I began parenthood.

  Its all much clearer now.  Most the friends I have who do live near family, had a period in their lives where they were on their own.  This is my period + being a wife & raising kids.  I remember thinking that when I got married and when we had Riley, I grew up. And I did, in some ways. But not completely. I'm still doing a lot of growing, but thanks to Monterey, I'm learning to be an adult. Today I can honestly thank God for bringing us here. I know for Leif its different, but for me personally I've changed.  Coming here has helped me in so many ways... one of those being I believe in myself now. I am in awe at how far God has brought me and what He continues to do.  I didn't have answers before but they're becoming more clear everyday, and the timing is as always, perfect.  I have a better grasp on who Margaret is and where I want to go...  :)

 I have a new confidence in myself, but even more so, I have confidence in my Father & His blessings in my life.  I am thankful for where we are.

I do have a prayer request (or if you're into good vibes and thoughts please send me some of those!):

The past few months I've been having weird pains where my kidney & ovary are and finally went to the doctor for them. They found a cyst on my ovary (no big deal) and one on my kidney (kind of a big deal). I go in tomorrow for a CT on the kidney cyst. Just pray that although the size isn't normal, it will still be easy for them to go in and just remove it. I am SO happy they figured out what the pain was, and I'm looking forward to finding a solution!  Thanks :)

Gratitude Thursday

I'm thankful for these babies.
They remind me that God is good and gracious.

Yesterday started out well but by late morning/early afternoon things were out of control. My control. It stressed me out! I actually sat in a parking lot and cried for a minute or two. I called Leif after and told him about how my morning/afternoon had gone, after telling him though I realized it really wasn't that bad. I drove home thanking God that He was in control and not me:)

When I came home both of the kids were sleeping. At one point Riley wanted out of her crib and ended up sleeping in the living room next to Beck( I posted a picture yesterday). I sat on the couch and watched them sleep. They looked so peaceful. It was so precious and I wanted to remember that moment forever. It was a reminder of how good God is to Leif and I. No matter how bad my day has gone, He is still faithful and He is still in control.

Faith.

This is the verse that has been on my heart for the last few weeks:

Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen

Hebrews 11:1

I've been thanking God constantly for the things He has yet to do, but I know
He will. In the past I've really struggled with putting my faith in God, but I'm learning what it
truly means to have faith.

I'm expecting great things.

Prayer Requests

I've been praying for Riley from the minute I knew I was pregnant, and actually... I was praying long before then. When Riley was born I found myself praying for her more often, praying little things, and big. From sleeping well to knowing Jesus in the future. While in the process of praying for Riley more, I've found myself praying for others more often as well. Simple things like praying their day goes well, that they pass tests, do well in work... so forth. I've really been enjoying it plus that's more time with God!

I think its important to pray. I also think its important to pray for others. It doesn't take long, just a simple prayer asking God to bless someone and give them strength. If you pray and even if you don't, please offer up one for my family and I:) And if you have any prayer requests you would like us to pray please let me know! Even if its just a quick prayer that you have a good day at work or get some sleep, Leif and I will be more than happy to pray for you and your family.

Sacrifice.

Leif and I are in the process of taking bigger steps to get ourselves out of debt and to save money. We have goals for ourselves and our family. Leif would like to further his education in computers since that's what he does at JPL. Then eventually, hopefully be able to go back and get his M.A in Psychology, since well that's what he went to college for. I want to finish school but need to find a new major since my old one was limited to Biola and other private Christian schools. We want to be able to buy house, but only after debt has been taken care of. Thankfully I'm not having to pay off any of my school loans (Thank you wonderful parents) and so we only have to deal with Leifs. A year from now a big portion of our credit cards will hopefully be paid off and we'll have saved a bit of money.

To get to the places we would like to, it calls for sacrifice right now. Sacrifice is not always something I enjoy. Somedays are better than others. I think its hard to keep sacrificing when you don't see any change happening. I expect this BIG change right away, but sometimes its gradual. And with our current situation that's how it is.

Leif and I made a big decision to downsize from our current apartment to a smaller one. I had a really hard time with this. One, because I love my apartment. Its the first place I've ever lived on my own and called my home. Second, its so big and comfortable. I like being comfortable. I love all the space. But the smaller apartment is a smarter choice because: It costs less. Ugh. It still has two rooms and we'll be getting hardwood floors and ceiling fans. So I can't be that upset about it:) We also feel this is the way God is leading us. We can't really say no to Him, and we don't want to.

I know that in the long run this is what's best for our family and where we're headed. I know I'll look back a year from now and be so grateful we did this. Thanks for your prayers and encouragement. I really appreciate them:)